My Memories
by Caladhiel999
Summary: L is remembered by his lover. Rated M for violence and strong sexual themes.
1. L Remembered

Memories

Written by: Caladhiel Alcarin

I still couldn't believe he was gone. He'd always taken so many precautions. I think Watari and myself were the only ones who knew his real name.

"Lawliet." I whispered.

Kira killed him. Kira had killed the only man I would ever love. There was no name on the grave. We didn't want the world to know that the mighty L was dead. I knelt down and put my hand on the cold stone. The officers stood behind me. Yagami Souichiro, Matsuda, Aizawa, Mogi and Yagami Light. We had all gathered for his private funeral.

"I still remember when I met you. You were just leaving the orphanage after I'd only been there for a few years. I always thought you were odd, but everything I thought odd about you was what made you so special. I loved everything about you, and I always will. Ryuuzaki…..no…..L."

My shoulders shook a bit as I held back my tears. He would want me to be strong.

"I still remember the first time we kissed, our first dinner together…..I remember all of it."

 _Three years ago….._

 _"Mariko…."_

 _I turned and saw a strange man there. I smiled because I recognized him immediately._

 _"La…."_

 _He quickly shook his head._

 _"You must call me Ryuuzaki."_

 _I was confused by his words._

 _"Why?"_

 _He looked around and then walked closer._

 _"I am L."_

 _My eyes went wide and I smiled._

 _"I'm not surprised. Then what are you doing here?"_

 _"I saw you here, I wanted to see you."_

 _I smiled and I knew I was blushing._

 _"It's good to see you again. How long has it been? Perhaps four years?"_

 _He nodded._

 _"Around there."_

 _He had grown up a lot. He wasn't a boy anymore. He was a grown man and the world's greatest detective. He smiled a bit and I walked with him._

 _"I didn't come just to see you, I need your help."_

 _I was surprised and confused by his words._

 _"My help? What could you possibly need my help with?"_

 _We walked into an extravagant hotel._

 _"I'm working the Kira case."_

 _My eyes went wide and I looked at him with concern._

 _"L…I mean Ryuuzaki that's too dangerous. I have to ask this, but please let someone else do it. Or don't get directly involved. Kira has killed millions of people and I know he's killed FBI agents as well. And my friend, I know you remember her, Misora Naomi, she's disappeared."_

 _He nodded sadly._

 _"I know. But you need to trust I know what I'm doing. And I need your help Mariko."_

 _I sighed._

 _"You know I will do everything in my power to help you my friend. But I don't want you to die."_

 _He smiled his little smile._

 _"Like I said, I know what I'm doing. And while you're here, for your own protection, I am just going to call you M. Is that alright?"_

 _I nodded and followed him to the elevator. I couldn't help but stare at him out of the corner of my eye. Even though he slouched he was still taller than me, his eyes looked tired but he still had the loveliest eyes I'd ever seen on a man. He was thin but I knew he probably still ate mostly sweets and cakes. The elevator stopped and the door opened. Lawliet led me into a clean room with several large computer monitors. I looked around in amazement. There were four men standing there. They were all staring at me and it was a tad bit uncomfortable._

 _"This is M. An old friend of mine. She'll be helping us with this investigation."_

 _They all gasped and I bowed._

 _"I am M. Pleased to meet all of you. I hope we can all get along."_

 _They bowed and the young one smiled._

 _"I'm Matsuda."_

 _"Yagami Souchiro, chief of police. Or I was."_

 _"Aizawa."_

 _"Mogi."_

 _I smiled and bowed again. Lawliet led me over to a chair and sat me down._

 _"What do you need help with?"_

 _He turned on the screen and I gasped._

 _"R-Ryuuzaki what is this!?"_

 _"The ones I suspect of being Kira and the second Kira. Yagami Light and Amane Misa."_

 _I slowly looked at the chief. He looked away and I sighed._

 _"Why do you suspect them."_

 _He told me every detail of the case so far. The others seemed shocked that he would do so but I ignored it. I looked back at the screen. Amane-san looked like she was reaching her breaking point. Yagami Light however…something about him was off. He just sat there, completely still. As though none of this bothered him._

 _"Yagami Light asked to be detained." Lawliet said._

 _A red flag went up in my mind then._

I looked to Light now. His eyes were on the ground and he stood very silent. I held the white rose in my hand and twirled it a bit.

"I told you I didn't want to watch you die. Now here we are. You've left me all alone in the world. You and Watari both. This world will never be the same without the two of you. My world will never be the same. You were my world L." I said.

Silent tears rolled down my cheeks.

"You were busy with the case, but you always made time for me. It didn't matter what was going on. You always said I was more important and that I would always come first."

I smiled a bit and laughed softly.

"Even after you handcuffed yourself to Light you always made time for me. Of course Amane-san irritated me with dragging me on what she called double dates. I'll admit I actually enjoyed them. And it was funny when Matsuda called the room that time."

I looked over my shoulder at Matsuda and smiled a bit. He smiled sadly and I looked back to the grave.

 _Yagami Light and Amane Misa started to act strange. They started to claim they knew nothing of Kira and that they didn't understand why they were there. I noticed a drastic change in Light's behavior. What's worse is that Chief Yagami had imprisoned himself and refused to leave until Light did._

 _It was one night when Matsuda and the others fell asleep. Lawliet looked exhausted. I hesitantly put my hand on his shoulder. His eyes remained on the screen._

 _"Ryuuzaki you need to rest at some point. You've been up for two days straight. And even when you do sleep you wake up every ten minutes. Please for your sake go to sleep. If not for yourself then do it for me. I'll stay up."  
_

 _He looked at me and I quickly withdrew my hand. He raised his brow in question._

 _"I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that." I said._

 _"I don't mind."_

 _My eyes widened in surprise. He smiled at me. He never smiled when the others were around or awake. He was a bit awkward so I was surprised by his actions. I smiled at him, happy he was comfortable enough to smile for me. I put my hand on his shoulder again._

 _"Please get some rest?"_

 _He put his hand on my arm and nodded._

 _"One condition."_

 _I smiled._

 _"Anything."_

 _A weird smile crossed his face._

 _"Get some rest with me."_

 _I smirked._

 _"Alright I'll sleep too."_

 _I hadn't realized before that he was stroking my arm. I was enjoying the feeling and when I opened my eyes he was even closer than before. I stayed very still, I didn't really know what to do. He reached his hand to my shoulder and moved closer. I smiled softly at him and lightly touched his cheek. He closed his eyes. It was the first time I'd ever seen them closed. His forehead touched mine and I sighed. I'd always had feelings for him, but like him, I was too shy to admit to them._

 _"Mariko…."_

 _"L…."_

 _His cool lips pressed up against mine and I put my arms around him. He wrapped an arm around my waist and put one hand on the back of my head. Slowly we separated and I smiled at him._

 _"You're the first man I've ever kissed L."_

 _He smiled at me and I hugged him._

I smiled to myself.

"That was the night everything changed for us. You really were the only man I ever kissed. And you always will be."

"I saw it."

I looked over my shoulder at Aizawa.

"I saw you two. It was the first time I'd seen him do anything other than work."

I smiled sadly.

"Yes, you really did work too hard L."

 _It had been nearly fifty days since Amane Misa and Yagami Light had been imprisoned. Almost forty five since L had kissed me. Since then, every chance he got he kissed me. He was starting to become even more comfortable. When the others did sleep we spoke of many things. I knew I'd fallen in love with him. He was everything I'd ever wanted. Smart, talented, kind and honest and so much more._

 _It was one night as I was getting ready for bed. Someone knocked on my door. I put my shirt back on and answered it. Watari stood there with a smile and dinner._

 _"Watari this is wonderful, but there's too much for me to eat alone." I said._

 _"You aren't going to be alone."_

 _I smiled when I heard his voice. L came inside and I smiled at him._

 _"I hope you haven't eaten yet."_

 _"Only an apple."_

 _He smiled and Watari left with an all knowing smile._

 _"What about the investigation?" I asked._

 _"You're more important to me. Therefore you'll always come first."_

 _I smiled but then looked around._

 _"There aren't any cameras in this room?"_

 _He shook his head._

 _"I had them all removed when you arrived. Though I might have a private room where I observe."_

 _I smacked him and he chuckled a bit._

 _"It was a joke. I'm hungry."  
_

 _I laughed and we sat down to eat. He ate in a strange manner but I didn't mind at all. He was eyeing the cake as though it were a gift from god. It was rather adorable. We never once talked about the case. There was just L Lawliet and Sakuraba Mariko, Kira did not exist in this moment._

 _"M….I want you to promise me something."_

 _I looked at him curiously. He had a very serious look on his face._

 _"If something happens to me, I want you to change your name legally. If you do that Kira might not be able to kill you. There's a chance he may already know your name. I've already had Watari destroy all records so Kira won't be able to find you."_

 _My eyes widened. I didn't like this talk of something happening to him. He got up and walked over to me. He knelt down in front of me and took my hand._

 _"I must ask you to do this. For me. I would never forgive myself if something happened to you. You're the most important thing in the world. No…..Mariko you are my world now."_

 _I looked at him with tears in my eyes. I fell to my knees and into his arms._

 _"Nothing is going to happen to you. But I promise I will do as you ask."_

 _"Thank you." He whispered._

 _I hid my face in his chest and breathed in his scent. He smelled like the earth after a hard rain. His hands were slender but they were strong. His arms made me feel safe and protected. I knew I loved him. I slowly looked up at him._

 _"L…..I…."_

 _No I had to do this right._

 _"I love you….Lawliet." I whispered._

 _He looked completely shocked. I looked down quickly but he gently lifted my face. He had a smile on his face._

 _"I love you Mariko." he whispered._

 _I smiled and laughed a bit before he kissed me. His kiss was hungry and passionate. It was very unlike him to behave this way but I wasn't going to complain. He pulled back and we stood up. He looked into my eyes as though he was searching my soul. I put my hand on his cheek and kissed him again. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I wrapped my arms around his neck. His tongue licked over my lips and then slipped into my mouth. He explored every inch and I moaned loudly. I felt myself press against something and found he'd managed to back me into the bed. I pulled back and smiled. I was going to follow his lead, let him control the situation. I knew what I wanted, but I wanted him to want the same. He stroked my cheek and his slim fingers wandered across my collar bone. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling of his touch._

 _"You're beautiful Mariko." He whispered._

 _I smiled and I slowly sat down on the bed. He crawled up over me and I pulled his shirt off. His skin was ghostly pale but it was warm. I ran my fingers down his chest and stopped at his heart. I could feel the strong beat beneath my fingers and I smiled up at him. He covered my hand with his own and closed his eyes. With my free hand I traveled further still, across his flat stomach and then up his side. He was incredible to me. He sighed and I pushed him over. His eyes flew open and I smiled at him. He reached his hand towards my face to stroke my cheek. I guided his hands to the hem of my shirt and let him feel the skin beneath. I moaned at the feeling his touch gave me. He rolled so I was once more beneath him. His kissed my belly and I smiled._

 _"Oh L….."_

 _Soon he removed my shirt entirely. He kissed up my chest and nibbled my collar bone. I sighed his name and he reached my neck._

 _"You're even tastier than cake." He whispered._

 _I smiled and he licked and nipped at my neck. I moaned his name loudly and wrapped my arms around him. I clawed at his back but he didn't say anything. He kissed just beneath my ear and I cried out._

 _"L!"_

 _He chuckled and kissed my lips. I lightly ran my fingers down his back and grabbed his firm butt. He moaned into my mouth and I smiled. He pulled back and I sat up. I kissed down his neck to his chest. I took my time, kissing and stroking all I could reach. I hadn't even realized he'd unclasped my bra. I smiled at him and we fell back again. I knew for a fact this was the first time he'd ever done this. I was probably the first woman he'd even considered doing it with. L wasn't the type of man who thought about women. He was always too deep into his work, but now he was here with me. He was all mine and I was his._

 _"Being alone is better than being with the wrong person. It seems I found the right person. I'm never going to let you go." he whispered._

 _I smiled and reached down to unbutton his jeans. I slipped my hand inside and gently massaged him._

 _"M-Mariko!"_

 _I smiled. I held power over the greatest detective in the world. He moaned loudly. I'd never heard such a sound come from him. I wanted to hear more. He swatted my hand away and lightly stroked my breast._

 _"An eye for an eye. You'll pay for making me so vulnerable."_

 _I smiled and looked forward to it. He leaned down and licked my nipple before taking it in his mouth._

 _"L! Oh god yes!" I cried._

 _With his free hand he began to gently massage the other one. He pulled back and took his pants off. He then undid mine and slowly pulled them down. I noticed the bulge in his boxers and I smiled knowing I'd been the one to cause it. When they were finally off he pulled off my panties as well. I sat up and pulled down his boxers. I smiled and licked my lips when I saw him._

 _"It seems your brain isn't your only asset." I whispered._

 _He pushed me back with a sly smile and crashed his lips to mine. He lowered his hips so I could feel him against me. My eyes closed, my head tipped back and my mouth fell open. I felt his fingers trailing down my body and I knew what he was going to do. He stroked me before lightly pushing his finger inside me. I bucked towards him without warning and he chuckled darkly._

 _"Impatient." He murmured._

 _I smiled and then he added another finger, all the while stroking my clit._

 _"L don't stop! Please!"_

 _He didn't say anything and added a third finger. I cried out his name and grabbed the blankets as though my life depended on it. He pumped his fingers into me hard and I enjoyed every second of it. When I felt his fingers leave my eyes flew open. I looked at him and saw him stroking himself. He moved forward and I felt him prodding at my entrance. I watched him as he pushed himself inside a bit. He leaned over me and kissed down my neck again, all the while pushing himself further into me. When he stopped he looked at me with a bit of guilt._

 _"What's wrong? I know its going to hurt a bit, but I want you to have me." I_

 _whispered._

 _He still seemed uncertain. I trailed my hand down his arm. I took his hand and held it to my chest. I leaned forward towards his ear._

 _"It's alright…" I breathed._

 _He nodded and shoved himself forward. I cried out and my nails dug into his back._

 _"Forgive me." He whispered._

 _I smiled and looked at him._

 _"It doesn't hurt, it feels good."_

 _He looked surprised and I wrapped my arms around his neck. I kissed his lips and he started to move a bit. He was testing to make sure I was comfortable. The feeling of him inside me was wonderful and strange at the same time. He pulled all the way out before sliding back in. He was so gentle. I knotted my fingers in his wild hair and kissed him harder. I moaned as he started to go faster._

 _"Faster! Faster!" I begged._

 _He started to go even faster and harder as well. I wrapped my legs around his waist and brought my hands up to his shoulders._

 _"L…..I'm going to explode." I managed to say._

 _He grunted in response and dropped his mouth to mine. His tongue curled around mine and he moaned. His thrusts became sloppy and he began to hit a spot within me that made me feel like I was flying._

 _"Oh my god! L! Right there!"_

 _He started to aim for that spot and I could feel myself tightening around him. I threw my head back and screamed his name as I came hard around him. He kept thrusting until he slammed into me and held my hips to his. I could feel it. I could feel him filling me with his release. I smiled at the feeling and he collapsed on me. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him. He lifted himself up and fell to the side. His knees were brought up to his chest and I smiled. He was breathing hard and we both had a fine sheen of sweat on us. I laid down behind him and wrapped my arms around him. I kissed his shoulder and smiled. I felt his hand cover mine and my smile grew._

 _"I love you L."_

 _"I love you Mariko." He murmured._

 _I fell asleep with a smile on my face that night._

"It was the best night of my life." I whispered.

I traced his name onto the stone.

"Then it all changed. A new Kira appeared." I said.

 _L and I laid there the next morning, neither of us wanting to move. I smiled and kissed his shoulder before sitting up. He sat up and put his arms around me. I closed my eyes and clung to him. The sun wasn't even up yet I turned in his embrace. I put my hand on his face and gently stroked his cheek._

 _"You're amazing. You know that don't you?"_

 _I looked into his eyes and smiled. There was such love in his eyes. My smile grew and I brushed a few locks of hair from his face. I traced my finger down his cheek and over his lips. I knew L wasn't one to talk about personal things and that was alright with me. I loved him just the way he was. I rested my head on his chest and closed my eyes. He stroked my back and sighed._

 _"What's wrong?" I asked._

 _"Nothing. Nothing at all."_

 _I smiled and kissed his chest. Today marked fifty days that Light and the others had been imprisoned. I sat back and looked out the window._

 _"What is it?"_

 _"I have a plan. And I think you'll agree with it."_

 _"Lets hear it."_

I smiled to myself.

"You thought my plan was brilliant. The chief wasn't so keen to the idea but it worked. And I'm happy it did, for everyone involved."

 _I walked into the room with L and he sat down. He had me sit beside him and I passed him a piece of cake. He smiled at me and Matsuda had a strange look on his face._

 _"Is something wrong Matsuda-san?"_

 _"Oh uh no…..that is I was wondering if…."_

 _He stopped and I smiled kindly._

 _"I'm sorry Matsuda-san. I think I am seeing someone."_

 _He looked a little confused and I myself was a bit confused. L and I hadn't discussed what last night made us._

 _"She's seeing me." he suddenly said._

 _There was a collective gasp and I stared at him in shock. He said it rather bluntly but the fact that he actually said it was what surprised me._

 _"Ryuuzaki?" I asked._

 _He turned and gave me a small smile. I smiled back happily. I slowly touched his hand and nodded._

 _"Yes, I'm with Ryuuzaki."_

 _They all looked so shocked and I was rather amused. I heard a car door and I turned back to the screen. We could see them. I took a deep breath and squeezed the arm of the chair. I heard the chief telling them he was taking them to an execution chamber. I was starting to regret my plan, the chief looked strained and tired. I took a deep breath when I saw him swerve off the road. When the car came to a stop I wanted to look away, but I couldn't bring myself to. I watched every second of it. When I heard Misa scream I couldn't help but look away._

 _"It's alright." L said._

 _I looked back at the screen and sighed in relief._

 _"Ryuuzaki, were you watching?" Chief asked._

 _"Yes, it was a very realistic performance." L said._

 _I looked at him and I put my hand on his shoulder. He touched my hand and I smiled to myself._

"After that you said you wanted to keep an eye on Light every day all day. Oh the strain that put on me. And Amane-san as well."

"It was interesting to watch for sure." Mogi said.

I smiled a bit and nodded.

"That it was Mogi-san. That it was."

 _L and I spent one last night together before he handcuffed himself to Light. We laid there panting and sweaty. He slowly took my hand and I looked at him. He was looking up towards the ceiling with his eyes closed. I could sense his heart pounding in his chest. For once his knees were not pulled up to his chest and I took that to my advantage. I turned and my head on his shoulder and my hand over his heart. His free hand covered mine and I closed my eyes with a smile. I loved to listen to the sound of his heart beating._

 _"They should be here soon if they aren't already. But I hesitate to move. I don't want this moment to end." he said softly._

 _His words made my heart leap with joy. I squeezed his hand and said,_

 _"There will be other times."_

 _"I know. It's just that here in this room it's only us. The outside world is on hold and you're the only thing that matters. I'm not good with the emotional things you know that, but with you its easier for me to admit to things I'd never dream of doing otherwise. With you Mariko….I know I'm safe." He said to me._

 _My heart soared and tears of joy came to my eyes. He suddenly sat up and I looked at him._

 _"What's wrong? Did I say something…."_

 _I put my fingers to his lips and smiled._

 _"No. My tears are tears of joy. Knowing you feel safe and comfortable around me….that's all I've ever wanted."_

 _He smiled at me and I kissed him. L Lawliet was the man I loved, he was the only man I would ever love. When I pulled back I looked away._

 _"What's wrong?" he asked me._

 _"I'm worried."_

 _"You don't have to….."_

 _"Forgive me but regardless of what you say I will always worry about you!"_

 _He shut his mouth and I sighed._

 _"I have a very bad feeling about Yagami Light. The way his behavior changed so suddenly. There's something wrong with him. I don't want to see you hurt or worse die." I whispered._

 _There was a long silence before his arms found me. He held me close and I could hear his heart beat._

 _"I knew what could happen to me if I took this case. But I took this case before I met you again. Now I regret taking this case by 50%. I can't make you any promises, because I never want to break a promise I make to you. I want you to know that I can die happily knowing I had someone like you in my life, Mariko. Thank you." he said._

 _"You won't die! I'll protect you!"_

 _He held me tighter._

 _"Markio….."_

A few tears rolled down my cheeks.

"I failed to protect you. And because I failed you'll never…."

I couldn't finish my sentence. I put my hand over my belly and closed my eyes.

 _L and I walked out into the room. Watari handed L the handcuffs. He then proceeded to cuff himself to Light._

 _"Are you sure this is necessary Ryuuzaki?" Light asked._

 _"Believe me I don't want this anymore than you do."_

 _"So this is what you meant by being with him twenty four hours a day. Looking at you I never would have guessed. Are you on that side of the fence Ryuuzaki?" Misa asked._

 _I clenched my fists and L rolled his eyes._

 _"I told you I'm not doing this because I want to. And no I'm not as you call it, on that side of the fence."_

 _I chuckled and Light looked to me._

 _"I don't remember you. Who are you?"_

 _"I am M."_

 _"Why are you here exactly?"_

 _"She's Ryuuzaki's girlfriend!" Matsuda said._

 _"MATSUDA!" Aizawa snapped._

 _I was a bit embarrassed but L remained calm._

 _"It was bound to come out sooner or later. I won't deny it, in fact I'll happily admit to it. Why? Is it strange?"_

 _The chief looked like a boulder had been dropped on his head. I bowed._

 _"I am here by Ryuuzaki's request. I've studied human behavior and I am here to help in any way I can."_

 _"And she has helped a great deal. Which is why I say this won't be easy for me either." L said._

 _I smiled at him. Misa was looking between us a bit confused. I smiled at her._

 _"One day you'll understand Amane-san. Then again, perhaps you already do." I said._

 _I looked to Light and then back to her. She smiled a bit and then looked at L. She looked a little annoyed._

 _"Light belongs to me! I don't want to share him with you. Besides with you around how are we supposed to go on dates?"_

 _"Oh you can still go on dates, but it'll have to be the three of us." L said._

 _That sounded like torture to me. I'm certain Amane-san was a nice girl but she seemed a bit too….. 'energetic' for L to stand. She suddenly grabbed me and held on._

 _"More like the four of us." she said._

 _My eyes went wide and gave L a pleading look._

 _"That's M's decision. Not yours." He growled._

 _He sounded a bit angry._

 _"It's alright Ryuuzaki. I'm certain I'll be able to join you."_

 _Besides I didn't want to leave him alone with Light. I didn't trust him and there was still something off about him._

"Sitting in on those dates was like torture. But I couldn't let you endure it alone. That's why I kept coming." I said.

 _L asked me to come to Amane-san's room for the so called date. I fixed my hair and left the room. I wasn't the kind of woman who wore makeup and dressed up too fancy. And I knew L wouldn't mind. I was wearing sweatpants during our first dinner. L wouldn't mind that I was wearing just jeans and a long sleeved shirt. I knocked on the door and then walked in. I bowed and then went to sit beside Amane-san. I sat down and smiled at L lovingly. I was pleased to find him grant me a smile in return._

 _"Whoa, he really can smile. And not in a creepy way."_

 _I sighed and shook my head. I'd been right, this was going to be very irritating._

 _"Man this has gotta be the lamest date and even double date I've ever been on."_

 _"Oh no please just pretend we're not even here. By the way, are you going to eat that piece of cake?" L asked Amane._

 _"Cake makes you fat. I'm not gonna eat any."_

 _"Actually I've found you can burn calories by using your brain."_

 _I smiled a bit._

 _"So now you're calling me stupid?! Fine I'll give you the piece of cake if you leave me and Light alone. Don't you want to be alone with M for once?"  
_

 _I looked up at her._

 _"Don't bring me into this" I said in a low voice._

 _"Even if I did leave you two alone I'm still gonna be watching on surveillance. And to answer your question of course I want to be alone with her. And I have before…..several times. That's none of your business either way."_

 _I smiled at him and nodded. I knew I was probably a bit red though._

 _"You love her."_

 _L just nodded but that was enough for me._

 _"And you love Ryuuzaki?"_

 _"Yes I do."_

 _She looked confused._

 _I smirked and set down my tea._

 _"It must seem strange for a woman like myself to love a man like Ryuuzaki. But everything you think strange about him is what makes him so special. Special to the world and to me." I explained._

 _She still seemed shocked, as did Light. I just shook my head and ate my cake. After a bit I excused myself to the restroom. It was when I came out that the problems started. I saw Light punch L in the face. The fact that they were both handcuffed together seemed to have escaped his mind. He went flying forward as L went flying back. L looked at him as he sat up._

 _"You know that really hurt."_

I smiled to myself.

"You were depressed because Kira wasn't who you thought he was. Of course you always followed that one rule of yours….."

 _"Whatever the reason…"_

 _L kicked Light straight in the face._

 _"An eye for an eye my friend."_

 _Once more both of them went flying back due to the handcuffs. They crashed into the sofa and it fell backwards. Misa was hiding behind the other couch and I was trying to find a way to intervene._

 _"I'll admit it, yes I wanted to you to be Kira."_

 _Light punched him again and I started to walk forward but Misa pulled me back._

 _"It won't be good for anyone if you get hurt M-san."_

 _"I'm perfectly capable of handling myself."_

 _"As I said an eye for an eye. I'm a lot stronger than I look you know."_

 _He kicked him again and they continued their fight. I was about to stop them but then the phone rang. L picked it up._

 _"Yes?"_

 _"Ryuuzaki I have good news! Misa-Misa is number one on 18 magazine's popularity poll!" came Matsuda's voice._

 _"Oh I see."_

 _"And get this! She even has a place in Ichinaka's next movie!"_

 _L hung up the phone._

 _"What was that?" Light asked._

 _"Matsuda being a dumbass again." he said._

 _"Well he is an airhead by nature."_

 _I sighed._

 _"He was probably trying to stop your foolish fight like I was." I said._

 _They both looked at me and I narrowed my eyes to Light._

 _"Seeing as how it was you who threw the first punch." I snapped._

 _He rubbed the back of his neck and I shook my head. I was hesitant but I looked at L's face._

 _"You're lucky he didn't break your nose. Or your entire face for that matter." I whispered._

 _"I'm stronger than I look."_

"You really were stronger than you looked."

I heard a few chuckles behind me.

"But then…..we found that cursed notebook. Everything changed. Everything went wrong. And it's my fault." I said.

"Mariko-san…..it wasn't anyone's fault but that death god." Mogi said.

I shook my head.

"No it really was my fault. Just believe me when I say that it's my fault he's dead." I said softly.

No one said anything but I knew they all wanted to tell me it wasn't my fault.

"I begged and pleaded for you not to go…"

 _"Please Ryuuzaki! Just stay here and watch. You don't need to go out there." I said._

 _He looked at me sympathetically._

 _"I have to. This is my job. I need to see how he kills."_

 _"By getting yourself killed in the process?" I shouted._

 _He sighed and Light looked away._

 _"I'll give you time. Well….as much as I'm able to." He said._

 _He couldn't go far so he put headphones on or something. L looked at me._

 _"Stay here and watch. You'll be able to see that I'm safe. Please Mariko."_

 _"Let me go with you!"_

 _"No."_

 _"But…"_

 _"No. Please just stay here where it's safe."_

 _I looked down and he lifted my face._

 _"For me?"_

 _I sighed but nodded. Then for the first time, he kissed me. He kissed me while there was someone else fully awake and near us. I closed my eyes and took his hand. He pulled away slowly and gave me a determined smile._

 _"Justice will prevail."_

 _I smiled a bit._

 _"I love you." I whispered._

 _He kissed me again before leaving._

 _"He'll be alright M." Light said._

 _I wanted to scream I didn't trust him. I held my tongue and sat down. So I stayed behind watching on the monitors. Higuchi was traveling fast, he really wanted Matsuda dead. I sat there, my eyes glued to the screen as L flew over the city. I still didn't trust Light, which is why I'd wanted to go with them in the first place. I just had to trust that L knew what he was doing. As they flew down the highway, I saw a mass of police cars. I was confused because I remembered L calling the chief of police and telling him not to get involved. Then I smiled._

 _"Aizawa-san!"_

 _I could see the cars had tinted windows. Higuchi wouldn't be able to see them, therefore he wouldn't be able to kill them. Watari shot out his tire and he skidded to a halt. At first everything was very still but then I saw him put a gun to his head. My eyes widened and then Watari shot it from his hand. Watari was the best marksman I knew. Several officers including the chief, Mogi and Aizawa ran to the car. Their faces were concealed and they took him out of the car. They blindfolded them and I watched carefully. We had Higuchi, but I could feel this was far from over._

 _"Please come back now Lawliet. You don't need to be out there anymore. Kira's been captured." I whispered._

 _I couldn't hear anything but I watched the chief reach for something in Higuchi's brief case. I saw him suddenly fall back. I frowned and then Mogi also touched the book. He too staggered back. I was very confused at this point. I saw Mogi take the notebook to the helicopter. It was a long time before I saw anything happen. They started to take Higuchi away but then he suddenly died! I gasped and stood up, knocking my chair over in the process._

 _"Kira! Kira is still alive!" I shouted._

 _I'd never felt so alone as I did now. Waiting for Lawliet to come back, wondering if Kira had seen his face. I went to my room and locked myself in it. I was scared and angry._

I lightly stroked the stone.

"I was so angry with you. I was so scared." I said.

I closed my eyes.

 _I heard the helicopter land but I was too angry to come out of my room. I could hear L calling and looking for me. When finally he knocked on my door I turned away._

 _"M? Please open up?" He asked._

 _I remained silent and cried into a pillow. Kira had to have been at that crime scene. That was the only way Higuchi could have been killed. Something wasn't right. It wasn't safe here anymore like it once was._

 _Nearly five hours later he knocked again. I finally took pity on him and opened the door. I was surprised to find him alone._

 _"Light?"_

 _"He's been cleared. May I?"_

 _I nodded and he came inside. I walked to the window and looked out over the city._

 _"Why are you so angry?" he asked me._

 _I didn't look at him._

 _"I begged you not to go. I begged you to let me go with you. Kira had to have been watching. He killed Higuchi. What if he had killed you!? I love you and how do you think I would feel if I watched you die and there was nothing I could do?"_

 _I turned and looked at him with tears in my eyes. He didn't seem to know what to say. I walked to the sofa and sat down._

 _"I'm proud and happy to be with you. You're the world's greatest detective and I feel honored that you love me."_

 _"But?" he asked._

 _I looked up as he walked over and sat next to me._

 _"But nothing. This is why I'm so afraid of you working this case. Something is different. I can feel it, I can sense it. Something is going to happen, I just don't know what. And that scares me L." I whispered._

 _I turned away from him so he wouldn't see my tears. I could keep my voice strong but my tears would betray me._

 _"If I lose you I don't know what I'll do." I said softly._

 _There was a long silence._

 _"You don't have to hide your tears from me you know." He suddenly said._

 _I turned and I threw myself at him. I cried into his shoulder and he didn't seem to know what to do._

 _"M…."_

 _"My name is Mariko! I'm tired of this M business. At least when we're alone."_

 _I quickly backed off of him._

 _"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that."_

 _He slowly reached out and wiped a few tears away. He moved closer to me and took my face in his hands. c_

 _"I'm doing this for you. So that you will be safe. Kira is a threat to the world. And I told you that you are my world Mariko. I'm trying to save the world and my own. And I understand this job could cost me my life. But if I'm careful I'll be alright. I will defeat Kira and there will be peace. You and I will have peace. But I will continue to take on cases. You have to know that."_

 _"Of course I know. But this case…..this is so much different L. I know he may be your friend but I suspect Light. I told you I didn't trust him or like him very much. Something isn't right with him." I said._

 _He looked thoughtful._

 _"There are rules in the note…."_

 _I frowned._

 _"What note?"_

 _He bit his lip and stood up._

 _"Higuchi was writing the names of his victims into something called a death note. That's how he killed them. They died of heart attacks." he said._

 _"What? That's impossible."_

 _He shook his head and held out his hand._

 _"Come with me."_

 _I took his hand but I was hesitant to see this notebook. He took me out to the others and they nodded. I noticed L hadn't let go of my hand. He had me sit down._

 _"Mogi-san. The notebook please."_

 _"You're going to show it to M?" chief asked._

 _He nodded._

 _"Are you certain that she should….."_

 _"I've thought this through. I wouldn't be doing this unless I knew she would be safe."_

 _Mogi handed him the notebook and then he held it out to me. I stood up and looked at me._

 _"Trust me?" he asked._

 _I nodded._

 _"You know I do."_

 _I touched the notebook and everything remained normal. I sighed in relief, but then I turned around. I screamed and grabbed L. A monster stood amongst us, and it wasn't Yagami Light. The thing looked at me curiously. I looked at L and he put his hand on my shoulder._

 _"She won't hurt you."_

 _"She?"_

 _He nodded and I looked at….her._

 _"Who are you?" I asked._

 _"The death god attached to that notebook."_

 _My eye widened and my hold on L tightened._

 _"D-Death god?"_

 _She just nodded. I let go of L and slowly walked forward._

 _"What do they call you?"_

 _"Rem."_

 _I reached out to see if she really was real. My hand went through her arm and my eyes went wide._

 _"I already know your name. I can see it and your life span."_

 _My eyes widened and I backed away._

 _"You know my real name?" I asked._

 _She nodded,_

 _"I can also tell your condition."_

 _I looked at her confused._

 _"What condition?" L asked alarmed._

 _She didn't day anything and I backed into L._

 _"Is this who killed Higuchi?" I asked him._

 _"I didn't kill him." she said._

 _I gasped and tried not to look at Light. His behavior had changed again. I looked at everyone else. They didn't seem very comfortable in Rem's presence either. I looked at L and then looked through the notebook. The pages didn't seem any different than a normal notebook, yet I could sense something about it. Something not of our world. I put it down and shook my head._

 _"I want nothing to do with it. I will still help you Ryuuzaki you know that. But I want nothing to do with that notebook. It's not natural." I said._

 _"M…."_

 _I shook my head and walked away. As I passed Rem she looked at me. I locked eyes with her and she nodded. I was a little surprised but I didn't want to be rude so I nodded back. I want back to my room and sat down on the sofa._

 _"Death gods, notebooks….the world doesn't make sense anymore." I whispered._

 _"Mariko?"_

 _"Yes?"_

 _L walked in. He sat beside me and looked at the floor._

 _"Forgive me."_

 _I frowned._

 _"For what?"_

 _"Getting you involved with this investigation."_

 _My eyes went wide._

 _"I know all of this is hard on you. But at the time I really needed your help. You've helped me in more ways than one and not just with the investigation. I love you and that will never change. So if you want to leave this investigation I won't stop you and I won't think or feel differently of you. It's your decision Mariko."_

 _All I could do was stare at him._

I smiled a bit.

"I would never have left you. It never even crossed my mind. All I could think was that you were the most selfless man to say that. That you…..I don't even know how to describe the feeling I had." I said.

 _I took his hands and he looked at me._

 _"I'm not going to leave you." I whispered._

 _"Mariko…."_

 _I kissed him full on the lips before he could finish. I tangled my fingers in his hair and fell back. He moaned softly and took my free hand and held it to the sofa. He pulled away and looked into my eyes._

 _"Are you certain?" he asked me._

 _I smiled and nodded._

 _"100% certain."_

 _He smiled a bit and kissed me again. He sat back and pulled me up. We both stood up only to become latched to one another. He wrapped his arms around me, holding my body close to his. He was warm and his hard body made me feel secure. I pulled back and he pressed his forehead to mine._

 _"Lawliet…." I whispered._

 _He stroked my cheek and then pulled me into another kiss. We didn't make it to the bed this time. We fell to the floor and I laughed a bit. He smiled and moved his hand down my body. I pulled my shirt off impatiently._

 _"We should do this slowly. This may be the last time." he whispered._

 _"You do know you ruin the mood talking like that. I told you nothing is going to happen to you."_

 _"Even so, I'd like to go slowly. To see and feel every inch of you. Every inch of the one I love." he said._

 _I heard the purr in his voice and I bit back a moan. He unclasped my bra and tossed it aside. He looked at me with a small smile. I closed my eyes as he stroked every inch of skin exposed to him._

 _"Oh Lawliet…."_

 _I felt his lips on my belly and then I felt something strange. I sat up and looked surprised._

 _"Did I do something wrong? You usually like it when I do that." he said._

 _"No its not you. I felt a bit strange for a moment. Never mind that now."_

 _He nodded and went back to kissing me. I smiled and his tongue played around my navel, making me moan softly. He kissed up my body, his hands also traveling up my sides softly. He kissed up the valley between my breasts and stopped at the base of my throat. I knew he was still thinking this could be the last time, and I wanted to prove him wrong. He kissed and nipped my collar bone, making me sigh and moan loudly._

 _"L…."_

 _I arched my body up towards him. He gently pushed me down with a smile and I growled at him. He chuckled and kissed my lips. His tongue pushed into my mouth and I moaned. He tasted like strawberries and cream. I brought my hands to the back of his shoulders and pulled him closer to me. I pulled his shirt up and ran my finger down his back. I smiled and then pushed him over so I straddled him. He looked surprised and I leaned down._

 _"Maybe we should try new things." I said._

 _He smirked._

 _"Alright then."_

 _I smiled and slowly began to grind my hips against his. His hands fell to my thighs and he threw his head back._

 _"Oh god Mariko!"_

 _I smiled and moaned as I felt him get harder beneath me. I knew I was going to have bruises from how tight he was holding me, but I didn't care. I loved how tight he was holding me. He sat up and brought his hand to the back of my head. He looked into my eyes and then pulled my lips to his in a searing kiss. He wrapped his arm around me and then rolled so I was beneath him. He never broke the kiss as he did so. He took my hands and held them to the ground. He kissed down my jaw to my neck where he sucked hard._

 _"Ah!"_

 _He bit down on my skin gently, but hard enough to leave a mark. I smiled and he gently kissed where he'd bitten. He sat back and I quickly unbuttoned his jeans. I pulled down the zipper and then he was on me again. I grasped his arm and started to push his pants down with my feet. He smiled at me and kicked them off. He sat back again and pulled off my pants. He pulled me closer and he slowly took off my panties. As soon as he tossed them away he stood up. He took off his boxers and they joined the pile of discarded cloths. He knelt down and kissed my thigh. I felt the head of him at my entrance and I closed my eyes. He started to push in only to pull back out. He continued to do so until I was on the verge of tears._

 _"L please! Please take me!"_

 _Without warning he slammed himself into me. I grabbed him and pulled him close to me._

 _"Like it?"_

 _I smiled._

 _"You know I do." I whispered._

 _I kissed his neck and he moaned._

 _"Mariko….Mariko…."_

 _I loved hearing him say my name. He began to thrust into me and I smiled. He sat back and when he thrusted he went deeper._

 _"Oh god! Yes!" I moaned._

 _His hips smacked against me and he continued to go deeper. He began to hit that sweet spot within me again._

 _"L kiss me!"_

 _He leaned forward and his lips melded with mine. I moaned into his mouth and he continued to pump himself into me._

 _"You're perfect!" he moaned._

 _I held him tighter and kissed his shoulder._

 _"Mariko I'm nearly there…." he groaned._

 _"Then let go! Don't wait for me just let go." I said breathlessly._

 _He shook his head and went faster. He took one of my breasts and began to massage while he took the other in his mouth. I cried out his name when his tongue swirled around my nipple._

 _"L! Oh god! Oh god!"_

 _My breasts were sensitive but it was giving me so much pleasure. Bit my nipple and I cried out. He stroked the underside of my breast and kissed the tops of both. I felt his wicked tongue on my skin and smiled. He leaned back and hooked my leg over his shoulder before coming back to kiss me. I wrapped my arm around his neck so he couldn't get away. He went back to kissing my neck and he grabbed my hip to move with his. I'd never felt so much pleasure in all my life. And I'd never loved someone so much in all my life._

 _"I can't hold on anymore!"_

 _He came with a cry of my name. I felt him release inside me and I came soon after. He seemed to come for a long time. When he stopped he pulled out and fell down beside me. His chest was rising and falling rapidly as was mine. He took my hand and pulled me to him. I put my head on his chest and took a deep breath. He started to stroke my back and I smiled._

 _"I love you Mariko. No matter what happens you need to know I love you. More than anyone, more than life. And it doesn't matter where I go, I'll always love you. Nothing can change that." he said._

 _He was so serious. I touched his face and he closed his eyes._

 _"I know you love me. I can feel your love and it matches my own. I love you so much Lawliet. And I will never love another man, unless I had a son. Then you may have competition."_

 _He chuckled and kissed the palm of my hand._

 _"When this case is over….I want to marry you."_

 _I gasped in shock and he smiled a bit._

 _"This job is dangerous and I don't want to die alone." he whispered._

 _"Oh Lawliet you'll never be alone. But if you're asking, then my answer is yes."_

 _He smiled, it was the brightest smile I'd ever seen on his face. He kissed me passionately and I smiled._

 _"I'm glad that such a small word can make you so happy." I said as we separated._

 _He put his hand on the side of my face._

 _"That small word just changed my life. I don't have a ring to offer you but I….."_

 _"Shhh! I don't need a ring. All I need is you."_

 _He stroked my cheek and kissed my forehead._

 _"That's what I love about you. You don't care about material items. You like the simple pleasures in life. You have a good heart and you're so brave and kind. You're the strongest woman I know Mariko." he said._

 _I smiled and held onto him. L would be my husband. And maybe someday we would have children._

 _When I thought about children my stomach did a tiny flip. Something was wrong. I didn't do anything because I didn't want L to worry. I heard his cell phone go off and he got up._

 _"Yes?"_

 _I put my hand on my belly and started to think._

 _"I have to go."_

 _I stood up and walked to him. He looked at me sadly and I smiled._

 _"It's alright. Soon we won't have to worry about Kira. I love you." I said._

 _He kissed me. It was a long kiss full of longing and desire. He slowly pulled away and rested his forehead against mine._

 _"And I love you." he whispered._

 _He got dressed and then left the room. I got dressed and then went looking for Rem._

 _"Rem!? Rem!?"_

 _"What do you want?"_

 _I jumped a bit and then looked at her._

 _"I know you're for a reason. I know this was someone's plan."_

 _"I can't tell…."_

 _"I know you can't. Or you won't. I want to know how you knew about me."_

 _"There is more than one life span with you."_

 _My eyes went wide._

 _"Do you know what it is?" I asked._

 _She shook her head and I put my hand to my forehead._

 _"I hope that whatever you're doing here, doesn't go wrong." I said._

 _She didn't say anything and I walked away._

I didn't know what to do. How was I supposed to tell you about it when we had just decided to get married?

 _I went to Watari the next morning._

 _"Mariko?"_

 _"Watari I….I think that I'm…"_

I was so scared when I found out. What would you think? What would you do? And now I regret not telling you.

 _I had to figure out a way to tell him. I walked through the hall, the rain pounding on the window._

 _"Ryuuzaki I know this is a really bad time…..no not like that. What am I going to do?!"_

 _"M?"_

 _I froze at his voice. I turned and looked at Light._

 _"What do you want?" I asked._

 _"I was looking for Ryuuzaki. And apparently you are as well. Do you know where he is?"_

 _Yes but I'm not going to tell you._

 _"No sorry. And I'm not looking for him. I have something to tell him and I'm trying to figure out how to tell him."_

 _"What's wrong?"_

 _I had to remained calm._

 _"I'm sorry but it's a private matter."_

 _"Does it have to do with that 'condition' Rem mentioned."_

 _"Again it's a private matter. Please excuse me."_

 _I quickly walked away and didn't look back. I finally sat down on the stairs and put my face in my hands._

 _"What am I going to do?" I whispered._

 _How could I have let this happen? I knew I should've been more careful. But I didn't think it would be possible._

 _"You're a fool Mariko. Look what you've done." I said._

 _I stood up and started to slowly walk to the others. I heard an alarm go off and I went running. I only just walked into the room when L said,_

 _"Everyone, the death…."_

 _L suddenly stopped and started to fall over._

 _"L!"_

 _I ran forward and Light caught him before he hit the ground. I fell to my knees and took his hand._

 _"L look at me!"_

 _He looked at me and smiled a bit. I put my hand on his face and stroked his cheek._

 _"Just keep your eyes on me! Someone call an ambulance! NOW!"_

 _Matsuda pulled out his phone. L's eyes were starting to close._

 _"No, no! Don't you dare! You look at me!" I cried._

 _He squeezed my hand but then he was gone. Light started to shake him and ask him to wake up. He then screamed and ran off looking for Rem. I held him in my arms and cried._

 _"Come back! Please come back!" I begged._

 _L was gone, and I knew he wasn't coming back. All I could do was hold him and cry._

 _"Please don't leave me Lawliet…..please come back. You can't leave me, not now." I whispered._

 _I looked at his handsome face and stroked his cheek. My tears fell onto his chest and I cried out in pain._

 _"L! L!"_

 _I cried into his chest and didn't let him go._

 _"M….."_

 _I didn't look up at the others._

 _"M we have to move him. We can't leave him here." said the chief._

 _I shook my head and held onto him._

 _"M we….."_

 _"MY NAME IS MARIKO!" I shouted._

 _I hadn't meant to shout but I couldn't help it. I was holding the lifeless body of the man I loved. None of them said anything. I looked up at them._

 _"I'm sorry. I didn't meant to shout. Can I…..can I have a moment alone?"_

 _"Of course. We'll be right outside."_

 _I just nodded and watched them walk out. When they were gone I looked back at L._

 _"You're a father. I wish I'd told you sooner. I'm pregnant, I'm carrying your child. And now because of this damn case you'll never meet him. So please….please come back." I begged._

 _I knew I was being foolish and that he couldn't come back. My tears came once more and I hid my face in his chest._

 _"I love you!"_

I slowly stood up.

"And because of my fear and shyness…..you never knew you were going to be a father." I said.

Everyone behind me gasped in shock.

"Mariko-san…..you're…."

I nodded.

"Yes. And L will never know his son. He won't be able to raise him with me. Kira took my child's father away. So now all I can do is raise him as best I can. And let him know everyday who his father was. To tell him how his father was a great man, a brilliant man who would have loved him unconditionally. And when he's old enough I'll tell him what his father died for, and that he didn't die in vain. Because I know in my heart Kira will be found and executed. But until then I have to think only of my son and what's best for him. L would have wanted that for his son. And I also know he would never want his son to follow in his footsteps. So for as long as I can, I will keep him as far from the dangers of the world as possible. But as long as Kira lives he will never be safe." I said.

Aizawa put his hand on my shoulder.

"If there's anything we can do, just let us know."

"Thank you….thank you all for everything you've done. Helping me bury him properly and giving him a funeral even though it was a private one. I think that made it better. L was never one for crowds, he would've wanted this way and Watari as well. If any of you ever need my help, please let me know. Don't hesitate. And I hope to introduce my son to all of you one day." I said.

"What will you name him?" Yagami-san asked.

I smiled a bit and turned to face them.

"L. After his father." I said.

They smiled at me and bowed.

"Thank you for everything M. Mariko-san. May you and your son live a safe and happy life. We will avenge Ryuuzaki."

I smiled and nodded.

"Thank you." I said softly.

The others walked away but Light and I remained. When they were far enough away I looked at him.

"I know who you are Yagami Light…..no…..Kira."

His face remained indifferent but I saw the panic in his eyes.

"I don't plan on telling anyone. I want no part of this anymore. And as insurance, and I promised L that I would do this if anything happened to him, I've changed my name legally. So I don't believe you'll be able to kill me."

I turned back to the grave.

"L was the only man I will ever love. And you took him from me. From his son. I promised him if he died, I would drop out of this investigation. And so I shall. I will not tell anyone and I will not pursue you. In fact I plan to leave Japan entirely. There's nothing here for me anymore, and I want my son as far from you as humanly possible. You won't find any records of me, L had them all destroyed before he died. And I will be holding any and all records of my son's birth. You will be caught one day, I know that in my heart. And when they kill you I will be there. Until then, I never want to see your face again. My name was Sakuraba Mariko. She died when L died. You took everything from me, but I won't let you take my son. You've won this battle. I hope you're happy."

I placed my rose on the graved. I put my fingers to my lips and then touched the stone.

"I love you." I whispered.

I stood up and started to walk away.

"I hope you have your fun….while it lasts. And to your death god, I know he is here or nearby. Grant me one favor. When this ends, write his name in your note. Sayonara, Yagami Light." I said.

I walked away. Tomorrow I would go back to England. Back to the orphanage. L had told me about the two who could become his successor. Nate Rivers, Near. And Mello, Mihael Keehl. I wanted to know who would be chosen. And I would help them. For the last time I was Sakuraba Mariko. I would now forever be Mariko Lawliet. And my son L would never know need or want. And when Kira was dead, when Yagami Light was dead, I would come back.


	2. L Avenged

Chapter 2

L Avenged

My son was born in England, and as he grew he looked just like his father. In a way it was like Lawliet was still with me. Near had succeeded L and he promised me he would catch Kira. I told him my suspicions on Yagami Light. He seemed to be thinking hard as he twirled a lock of his hair. Near was still very young, only thirteen years old.

"Be careful." was what I said to him.

"We'll get him. And I'll let you know. I know you want to be there when we do."

I smiled at him gratefully and bowed.

"Thank you Near. I'll eagerly await your call."

That was the last time I would see Near for five years. And it was Aizawa who called me.

" _Mariko-san."_

"Aizawa-san!?"

 _"Yes it's me. Near asked me to call you. Come back to Japan. We found him. Near has already paid for your ticket and hotel."_

"Tell me…..who is it?"

" _Yagami Light."_

I sighed.

"I knew it was. I told him before I would not pursue him and I wouldn't say anything. Please understand I was doing it for my son."

 _"I understand. I would have done the same. Your flight leaves tomorrow. Near has also purchased a ticket for your son."_

I smiled and stroked my sleeping son's head.

"We will be there tomorrow."

He hung up and I lifted L into my arms. I gently put him to bed and kissed his forehead.

"I love you son." I whispered.

I packed his bags and mine as well. We wouldn't be coming back here. I promised myself when Light was caught I would come back to Japan. L told me he always wanted to go to Japan. He wouldn't be with me when I went to the meeting. He would be safe with Aizawa's wife and daughter. L woke up and walked out into the room.

"Okasan?"

I looked at him and smiled.

"Are we going somewhere?"

I nodded and picked him up.

"We're going to Japan."

He smiled and there was so much excitement in his eyes.

"Do we….do we get to visit otosan?" He asked.

I smiled and nodded.

"Yes of course we do. But first okasan has something she has to do. You'll be going to okasan's friend's house to play for a little while."

He nodded. L had always been so well behaved. He was brave, talented and smart just like his father.

We flew to Japan only a few hours later. It was a long flight and L was a little frustrated and tired of sitting for so long. Eventually he fell asleep and I looked out the window.

 _I'm coming home….L….Lawliet…..my love._

When we landed I took L to Aizawa's home. I remembered his wife only a little. She smiled and welcomed me.

"Lawliet-san. I have heard much about you. And this must be L."

L smiled and I smiled down at him. Aizawa came to the door then.

"M. It is good to see you again. Please come inside."

I nodded and L took my hand. We sat down and his wife brought out tea. I thanked her and L stared at Aizawa. I smiled picked him up.

"So this is L. He looks just like his father."

I smiled and my boy studied Aizawa from behind his dark locks.

"He's five right?"

"Almost."

He nodded and I looked at L.

"L, this is my friend Aizawa-san. He knew otosan too. We all worked together once."

L smiled and waved. Aizawa smiled. L walked over and stared up at him.

"Okasan, was otosan this tall?" He asked.

I laughed and shook my head.

"Not quite."

A smile came to his face and my own fell.

"L no…."

He jumped on the sofa and climbed onto Aizawa's shoulders.

"L…"

"It's alright. My daughter used to do this. I think its because I'm so tall."

I sighed and smiled.

"You've raised him well. Ryuuzaki would be proud of him."

"That means a lot to me. Thank you. And as for you mister, it's time for you to go to sleep."

Aizawa's wife took him to bed and I looked back at him.

"How is everyone?"

"Matsuda is still the same and Mogi is well."

"And the chief?"

He looked down and my eyes went wide.

"No…."

"We were infiltrating a mob hideout in Los Angeles. He was shot trying to kill someone named Mello."

My eyes went wide.

"Mello!?"

He looked at me curiously.

"You know him?"

"He was another boy at the orphanage. Along with Near, he was working to be L's successor. He killed the chief?"

"No. He was shot by another mob member. Mello blew up the entire building. We were lucky to make it out alive. The chief died in the hospital not too long after he got there. He died peacefully. Believing he son was not Kira."

I closed my eyes and covered my face with my hands.

"But he was. Surely he must know that now. What did he die for Aizawa-san?"

"He died trying to stop Kira. Just like Ryuuzaki did. They both died for something greater than themselves. They died trying to make the world a better and safer place. I know Ryuuzaki was trying to do this for you, and for your son. I could see….." He took a deep breath. "I could see how much he loved you. And I know he would've loved his son. He probably can see him from wherever he is and loves him more than anything."

I smiled a bit and looked at him.

"Then we have to make sure they didn't die in vain. Do the others know I'm back?" I said.

He shook his head.

"I'm the only one."

I nodded and he took me to Near.

"Light doesn't know you're here. I think we should keep it that way until the right time." He said.

I nodded and got out of the car. Two agents were there to meet me.

"I'll see you tomorrow…..please take care of my son, Aizawa-san."

"You can trust me. He will be safe."

I nodded and then went with the agents. I found Near sitting on the floor of the room.

"Near. It's been a long time."

"M. We've found him and you were right. Now Mello too will be avenged."

My eyes went wide.

"Mello!? He…."

Near just nodded and I fell to my knees. How many more people would Light kill before he got his way?

"Thanks to him we know for certain Yagami Light is Kira. And a false L."

I looked up and walked over to him.

"False L?"

He nodded.

"He took on L's name in his place."

I clenched my fists and shook with rage. I felt Near put his hand on my arm.

"L will be avenged. And you will be there when he is put to death."

I just nodded but that didn't rid me of anger. Near wanted me to be hidden until he told me to come out. He wanted me to be safe.

"L doesn't need to be an orphan like we were."

I smiled at him. He was about sixteen now, he'd grown up a lot.

"L would be proud of you Near. And Watari as well. You're a worthy successor." I said.

He gave me his boyish smile and I chuckled.

"I'm ready." I said.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded.

"I've been waiting five years for this. I want to see Lawliet avenged." I whispered.

He just nodded and we got into the car. Near wanted to get there early so he could hide me. The sky was dark from rain and I was easily able to conceal myself in the shadows. It was the longest wait of my life. When finally I did hear the door open, I looked through the beams. There they were. Aizawa-san, Matsuda-san, Light and another agent I didn't recognize. Near told me there would be another man outside the door, which was why he'd given me a mask. I put it on and took a deep breath. It was a long time before anything was spoken. After nearly thirty minutes Near turned and looked at me. I nodded and slowly walked out. Aizawa nodded and so did I.

"You didn't say you were bringing an extra person!"

I did not recognize this officer.

"I'm of no threat to you. I can assure you of that. I'm only here because Near told me they'd finally caught Kira. I only want to see Kira dead."

This didn't seem to make him feel better. I bowed my head and stepped back.

"Then why is she still wearing a mask?" Matsuda asked.

"Because she has a child waiting for her with no father." Near answered.

Near told us not to pay any attention to the man outside the door. It was very difficult but I did my best. The other began to shout in fear but Near promised them they wouldn't die.

"If you don't trust him then trust me!" I said.

Aizawa looked at me.

"Trust her then!"

Matsuda and the other officer looked at him. I remembered L saying that after forty seconds of having their name written, that person would die. IT was the longest forty seconds of my life. And just before it ended, Light looked at Near.

"Near, it's my win."

I narrowed my eyes and started to go forward, but Geovanni stopped me.

"It won't help. Trust Near."

If there I trusted anyone it was Near. I nodded and kept my eyes on Light. I could see him starting to get agitated and I smirked.

 _How does it feel Yagami Light?_

Nothing happened. Everyone remained alive. Matsuda took his hands off his head and looked around.

"We're alive!"

I chuckled and shook my head. Matsuda would always be Matsuda.

"So it's safe for her to take off that mask." Light said.

"I won't be taking it off." I said flatly.

He narrowed his eyes.

"I'll tell you my name. Lawliet. My name is Lawliet."

"That's enough." Aizawa said.

"I agree." said Near.

I nodded and looked back to Light. It turned out that Near had managed to switch the real notebook with a fake one. Near was brilliant. I watched Light begin to fall apart. I couldn't help but smile.

"Yagami Light, you are Kira." Near said.

No one moved and no one said anything. Aizawa finally walked forward.

"It's over Light. And I heard you say 'Near it's my win'. That's as good as a confession." He said.

One of the agents walked forward and tried to cuff him.

"NO! Get those away from me!"

Light was backed against a wall. It was now that I took my mask off.

"Mariko-san!" Matsuda said.

I smiled at him and then turned to Light.

"I told you I would be here when you fell. It's time to answer for what you did to the man I love. And to everyone else. It's over Yagami Light." I said.

He full out glared at me.

He ran at me and Aizawa grabbed me. I heard a gun go off and looked back. Of all the people I thought would shoot Light, Matsuda was never one of them. My eyes were wide and Light stood there with a bloody hand.

"Matsuda! What the fuck!? You idiot!"

"How could you do this!? What about your father!?

"Father? Oh, Yagami Souichiro!"

Matsuda shot him several times and I ran forward.

"Matsuda-san! No!"

He fired once more and it hit the ground next to Light's face. I pulled him back and I walked over to Near.

"Please let me see that note."

He held it up and I touched it. I opened my eyes and saw another death god there. I looked at it and bowed.

"I am Mariko Lawliet." I said.

"Ryuk! Heiya!"

I smiled a bit. Though the situation was far from funny. I slowly walked back over to Light. I couldn't help but pity him. I looked down at him and could not bring myself to want to kill him myself. Once I had dreamed of killing him with my own hands, but now…..as I looked at this pitiful man on the ground, I couldn't bring myself to do it. He was lying there with bullet wounds, breathing hard and lying in a puddle.

"You took everything from me, from my son. Yet I can't bring myself to want to kill you. I hate you yes, but I believe you should suffer for what you did. You betrayed your father and you betrayed us all. Was it all worth it in the end Light? Did you get everything you wanted?"

I knelt down.

"You will die alone. And the only way people will remember you is as a pitiful man who wanted glory. You're nothing anymore." I said.

He spit in my face and I calmly wiped it away. I stood up and backed away. Tears filled my eyes and I turned away from him. Aizawa put his hand on my back and walked me away. Suddenly we heard a shout. Mikami had stabbed himself. In the confusion, Light escaped. Aizawa-san ran after him.

"Mr. Aizawa! There's no need to go after him. With those wounds he won't get far."

"Near…..I won't listen to you."

Near looked surprised but then looked away.

"I understand."

He, Matsuda and the other agent left. I looked at Ryuk.

"You were the one present at L's funeral were you not?"

"Yeah. I was there. I heard what you said."

I looked away and took a deep breath.

"Can you do it?"

"I was planning on it. This is good-bye then Lawliet."

"Oh before you go…."

I pulled an apple from my pocket and smiled a bit.

"A gift. When you write his name down…..you will be doing me a great kindness. I know you're not doing it for me, but I want you to have this anyway. Farewell Ryuk."

He smiled and ate the apple, core and all.

"Thanks."

That was all he said before he disappeared.

"It's over." Near said.

I nodded but I didn't look at him.

"Yes…..L has been avenged. Kira is gone forever. My son is safe and so is the rest of the world. This….this is what he wanted from the start." I said.

Near nodded.

"Now his wife and son are safe. The rest is up to you, to give L everything he needs. And I don't think his father is really gone. I think he's still here with us. Helping us through each day. I believe…..he'll always be with you and L. I don't think he'll ever leave you." said Near.

I knelt down in front of him.

"Thank you Near. For everything you've done. As I said before, I know L is proud of you. I know you will be a great detective just like him. And if you ever need my help you need only ask."

He grinned.

"For now just go home to your son. He needs you more than I ever will."

I smiled and nodded. He held out his hand and I took it.

"Good-bye for now my friend."

"We'll see each other again." he said.

With one last nod I stood up and left. I had a promise to keep. I went back to my son and took him to the graveyard.

I held L's hand as we walked to his father's grave.

"Okasan? Why are we here?"

We stopped at L's grave and I looked at my son.

"You know we can never truly see otosan again for a long time right?"

He nodded and I touched his little cheek.

"This is where your otosan was buried. This is where you can talk to him. He will always hear you."

He smiled a bit and touched the stone.

"Otosan….I miss you." He said in a small voice.

I smiled and knelt down.

"Lawliet….this is your son. His name is L, just like you."

"I have the same name as otosan?" he asked.

I chuckled and nodded.

"Yes you do. And everyday you look more and more like him. He would be so proud of you." I told him.

He smiled and turned back to the grave.

"Okasan named me after you! I'm going to be just like you otosan! I'll be a hero too!"

I smiled and stroked his hair.

"And a true hero he was."

I turned and saw Aizawa, Mogi and Matsuda there. I smiled at them. They'd brought flowers and a piece of cake to put on the grave. They came forward and L hid behind me.

"So this is L?" Matsuda asked.

I nodded and put my hand on his head.

"He looks like his father doesn't he?" Aizawa said.

"Exact image of him." Mogi agreed.

L smiled shyly and then moved behind Aizawa.

"He's a bit shy sometimes."

I picked him up and he hugged me.

"L this is Matsuda-san and Mogi-san. They were friends of otosan's, they're friends of mine."

He smiled at them and waved his little hand. Matsuda smiled and laughed.

"He'll be a great man like his father. He'll be brilliant like his mother." Mogi said.

They all nodded and L smiled.

"I'll be like otosan!"

I nodded.

"I know you will. And otosan is very proud of you, he loves you very much."

"He does!?"

I nodded.

"Yes he does."

I set him down and he knelt down in front of the grave.

"It's all over. Kira is gone and the notebooks are gone. Near had them destroyed."

"That's good. No one should have that sort of power except a death god."

"Yeah but I wish I never knew they actually existed." Matsuda said.

I nodded.

"But its over now. Our lives can be peaceful again. And I can finally come home."

"You're staying in Japan?" Mogi asked.

"Yes. L speaks the language and he needs to be as close to his father as possible…..and so do I. I only left to keep my son safe. Japan is my home and it always will be. And besides, my friends are here."

They smiled and nodded.

"I'm glad so many of us are still here. We lost Lawliet, Watari and the chief….but they've been avenged and they didn't die in vain. Our lives can go back to normal. But we must never forget the ones we've lost. They are the true heroes." I said.

Aizawa put his hand on my shoulder.

"Truer words were never spoken. And you're right. We must always remember those who gave their lives for the rest of us. For our children."

We all looked at L. He was still talking to his father's grave. He was telling him all the things he loved and wanted in life. My eyes widened and I gasped.

"Mariko-san?"

I turned and looked at the setting sun.

"Are you alright?"

I smiled and closed my eyes. I could feel L's arms around me.

 _"I love you. And L."_

I knew his voice. I smiled and nodded. When I could no longer feel him I knew he was gone.

"I'm alright."

 _Good-by for now my love. I promise to raise our son as best I can. He will always know of your bravery and brilliance. And then one day I will be with you again. I love you._

We all stood there, the four of us and my son.

"Mariko-san, I found this when we were cleaning out the old headquarters."

I turned to Matsuda.

"I never saw that." said Aizawa.

He smiled a bit.

"I kept it hidden. I would've mailed it to you but I didn't know where you were. I knew you'd be back someday so I held onto it for you."

I smiled and slowly took the letter. It was L's handwriting.

"Where was this?" I asked.

"In his room, the one he never used. I wanted to make sure nothing was overlooked. It was on the table next to these."

He held up silver wedding bands. My eyes went wide and my hand flew to my mouth. He put them in my hand with a smile and closed my fingers around them.

"You may not have been married legally but you're still Ryuuzaki's wife. And I know he loved you." Matsuda said.

I smiled and threw my arms around him.

"Thank you Matsuda-san! Thank you!"

He hugged me and then I stepped back. I put the ring on my finger and opened the letter. I read it aloud,

 _Mariko,_

 _I'm writing this because I know my time is coming. I wish it wasn't because I wanted to spend a lifetime with you. You are the most important thing in the world to me. And if I live long enough our child will be too. I know you're pregnant, and I'm so sorry. If I die before it is born then I'll have made you a single mother. Raising a child is hard enough but to do it alone….I'm so sorry. I know because I asked that death god about the condition she mentioned. She told me she saw two life spans when she looked at you. I knew you would want to be the one to tell me so I stayed quiet. I was…happy. So happy to find out I would be a father. Knowing it was you having my child only increased my happiness. I know our child will be as beautiful and talented as you. I hope you won't think I'm a failure, and don't you dare think its your fault! I knew what I was getting into when I took on this case. I'm doing everything in my power to protect you and the baby._

 _I know Matsuda will be the one to find this. He always did like to poke around. I hope he does, I know he'll make sure you get it. And I know he'll deliver it directly to you. He always was good in that way._

 _I love you Mariko. I love you so much! Tell our child that I love them more than anything and I always will. No matter where I am I'll always love them. If I'm gone then know I wish I was there with you, and in a way I always will be. I know you're right about Light. But there is nothing I can do without the proper evidence. I chose Near as my successor. I know he will catch Light and bring him to justice. I would have asked you to help him but now that I know you're pregnant I want you to leave Japan. Go somewhere safe where Light wouldn't think to look. I know you will want to be there when he's caught and I know Near and the team will protect you. This isn't good-bye, this is only the beginning. I will see you again, after you have lived your life. I want you to be happy, I want the baby to be happy, even though I'm not there. Remember me with love and happiness. Live a full and happy life. That's all I ask of you._

 _I love you Mariko. And we will be together again. Until then all I can say is I love you and you were the only light in my life. You gave me hope and the strength to do anything. Do that for the baby. I know you'll be a wonderful mother. And though we weren't legally married you were an amazing wife. You supported me in everything I did and you weren't shy and would put me in my place when needed. You made me the happiest man in the world. I'm thankful I was able to spend the time that I did with you._

 _Until next we meet. I love you!_

 _L Lawliet_

"So that was his real name." Mogi said.

I nodded with tears in my eyes.

"I hate to admit it but he's right. I did like to poke around."

"And I'm glad you did. I really am." I said.

They all smiled.

"You're welcome to stay with one of us until you can find your own place."

"If Matsuda-san doesn't mind I'll stay with him. I know you have a family and Mogi you have a girlfriend."

"You can stay as long as you want." Matsuda said.

I smiled and bowed.

"Thank you."

And Matsuda really did take care of us. L became attached to him. He saw him as a father figure. We ended staying with Matsuda permanently. L had refused to leave when I tried to find a house. Matsuda was always there for us, though nothing romantic ever happened between us. He knew that Lawliet was the only man I would ever love. He helped me put L through school and was always there to help him.

I could always feel Lawliet with me. His wedding band was always on a chain around my neck. He visited me in my dreams and I knew I would never truly lose him.


End file.
